Here’s the thing nobody warns you about before you become a dad. Sometimes your baby doesn’t want you. They want mom. Only mom. And when mom is running on zero sleep and you step in to help, the baby cries harder like you personally offended them.

Don’t hand the baby back. Don’t run for the exit. The things all dads need to do to quiet a fussy baby come down to three moves: build rapport, use the right tools, and know your go-to techniques when the meltdown hits. Do those three things consistently and the crying fits get easier. Not gone. Easier.