So, you’re having a baby and wondering what the heck you actually need to do. Here at DadGrades, we have you covered. Congratulations, man. You are about to embark on a wild, chaotic, and beautiful journey.

If you want the quick answer to the biggest things all soon to be dads should know, it boils down to this: accept that you cannot control everything, prioritize your partner’s recovery, get ready for severe sleep deprivation, and stay calm when the crying starts. Fatherhood will change your life forever, but you absolutely can handle it.

Things All Soon To Be Dads Should Know About Delivery Day

Let’s talk about the hospital experience because pop culture lies to us. You see movies where the dad passes out or neatly cuts the cord, and then everyone smiles. Reality is a bit different.

The best advice I ever received was simple: watching your partner be pregnant and give birth is an event life has not prepared you for. Be prepared to feel totally unprepared.

“During birth, do NOT look down. Especially if you have a weak stomach.”

Seriously. Stay north of the equator. Your job is to be the ultimate support system from the shoulders up.

Also, let’s manage some expectations about the hospital room. You will be sleeping on a chair. Its not comfortable. In fact, I think it’s design to make you feel what child birth feels like. Did I mention it is incredibly uncomfortable? To make matters worse, the nurses will walk into your room every few hours to check vitals, making actual sleep virtually impossible.

Here is the kicker: that terrible hospital chair nap? It will still be the best sleep you get for a long while. Enjoy it.

The Hard Truth About Sleep and Routine

Before I had kids, I thought I’d keep my routine. I thought I’d watch the game at the same time, eat the same food, and wear the same clothes.

I was wrong.

My TV watching schedule totally shifted. Say goodbye to prime-time viewing and hello to 3:00 AM infomercials or watching sports on mute with subtitles while rocking a tiny human.

All parenting is hard. Anyone telling you otherwise is selling an Instagram course. Sleep when the baby sleeps. If you can sleep. You probably won’t be able to.

Babies are actually pretty simple creatures, but the lack of sleep distorts reality. Get your rest now. Once the baby arrives, if you do manage to magically sleep through a crying fit, your wife will probably hate you for it. Keep those ears open.

Navigating the Partner Dynamic

Your partner is doing the heavy lifting here. Her body is going through a massive change and she hasn’t been comfortable in months. Remember to be thoughtful, patient, and proactive.

“Listen to your wife. Even when you both are exhausted, she needs to know you are a team.”

Sometimes you will try to help, and it won’t work. The baby might reject your soothing techniques, or your wife might prefer to handle it a certain way. Don’t take it personally. Put your ego in a drawer and just ask, “What do you need me to do right now?”

Have a plan before you go to the hospital. Figure out who handles what shifts. Even if you don’t stick to the plan perfectly, having one keeps you aligned when the sleep deprivation kicks in.

Managing the Chaos (And Your Own Stress)

When the baby starts crying uncontrollably, do NOT stress.

Easier said than done, right? But it is incredibly true. Babies are like sharks smelling blood in the water; they can feel your anxiety, and it makes the situation worse for everyone. Take a deep breath. They aren’t crying to ruin your night; it’s just their only form of communication.

You’re child isn’t broken. You’re doing ok. Babies are just different, strange and new to the world. Give them and yourself grace.

You also need to start auditing your daily habits. Get used to listening to the edited versions of your favorite songs right now, unless you don’t care if your toddler’s first word is a choice four-letter profanity.

Why It’s All Worth It

Becoming a father changes you forever. Your old life changes, your sleep disappears, and your brain turns to mush.

But hang in there. Keep hanging on, because a single little baby giggle makes all of that chaos worth it a hundred times over. You’ve got this.