There are things to do before the baby comes and you should start making a list now. Because regrets after having a kid can leave a dad up for multiple late nights wondering what went wrong. Hey Siri, play “Regrets” by Jay-Z.
That’s not to say having a kid isn’t the best thing that has ever happened to a guy. It is. But knowing you left so much on the table before the baby arrived can be paralyzing.
So this one is for the first time fathers who just found out a baby is on the way. You’ve got roughly nine months until your bundle of joy shows up. These are the things to do before the baby comes, the stuff I hope you scratch off your bucket list while you still can.
What Should Dads Do Before the Baby Comes?
The short answer: spend real time with your partner, see your friends, enjoy your hobbies without interruptions, handle the big house projects and grown-up paperwork, and set up a few keepsakes so you’re ready on day one. Your free time is about to get a lot smaller. Use it on purpose.
Here’s how to do it.
1. Date Your Partner Like It’s Your Full-Time Job
Overdose on Date Nights
Get dressed up and go out to dinner. Hit a bar. Catch movies, go bowling, whatever. You want to do it so much you’re almost sick of it.
Unless you have eager grandparents living next door, real date nights can vanish for six months to a few years. This is probably my biggest regret from having kids and one of the things I miss most about being kidless.
Savor the Mundane Together
Couch rot. Binge-watching a show on a Tuesday night without pausing every four minutes. Waking up with zero obligations.
You don’t realize how luxurious low-stakes silence is until it’s gone.
Preload Patience Around Intimacy
Birth takes an immense physical and emotional toll on your partner. Recovery takes months, sometimes longer if there are complications. Build the habit now of offering physical affection, reassurance, and cuddles that don’t come with expectations. It’ll matter more than you think once the baby is here.
2. Lock Down Deep Time With Your Friends
Prioritize the Child-Free and Single Crew
Life rhythms split up fast after a baby. Friends without kids often fade out, not because anybody stopped caring, but because logistics get complicated and priorities flip.
So go out. Stay out late. Have drinks without watching the clock or rushing home.
Take the Guys’ Trip
If you’ve got an annual trip or a weekend getaway with your core crew, don’t skip it this year. Put in the effort to keep that lifeline alive. You’ll need that community later, probably more than you need it now.
3. Indulge the “Uninterruptible” Solo Hobbies
Tackle the Deep-Focus Projects
Rebuilding an engine. A weekend woodworking build. Learning complicated software. Getting lost in a novel for four straight hours.
Hobbies that need big, uninterrupted blocks of mental space are going on pause for a while. Get your fill now.
Enjoy Aimless Freedom
Take a long drive to nowhere. Camp out in nature. Play your instrument loud. Go for a solo walk with no destination.
Soak in the freedom of being completely on your own schedule, because that schedule is about to belong to somebody who weighs eight pounds.
4. Clear the Practical Deck Before Baby Arrives
Knock Out the 2+ Hour House Tasks
Any home improvement or repair that takes more than a couple of hours needs to happen before the baby arrives. After birth, finding a free 60-minute window feels like winning the lottery.
Set Up the Grown-Up Paperwork
Will, term life insurance, and education or investment accounts. [SOURCE OPPORTUNITY] Get them set up while you still have the brainpower and full nights of sleep to make good decisions.
Nobody wants to compare life insurance quotes at 3 a.m. with a crying newborn on their shoulder.
Build Your Support Bench Early
Scout reliable babysitters or mother’s helpers in your neighborhood before you’re desperate for a break. Vetting someone is a lot easier when you’re rested and not in survival mode.
5. Prep the Milestone Keepsakes Ahead of Time
Get a Growth Chart You Can Take With You
Don’t mark heights directly on a doorframe or painted drywall you’ll eventually repaint or leave behind. Stain a finished plank of wood or buy a portable canvas ruler so it’s ready to hang on day one.
Start a Quick-Capture Memory Log
You will forget the small, hilarious, and sweet daily moments in the newborn haze. Guaranteed.
Set up a shared note on your phone or a daily journal app to jot down quotes, dates, and milestones as they happen. Your future self will thank you.
The Reality Check: Your Old Life Doesn’t Disappear
You don’t need to panic or mourn your old life like a tragedy. The hobbies don’t completely vanish. They shift, adapt, or turn into things you eventually get to teach your kid. I used to watch at least 3 movies a week. Two kids later I’ll be lucky if I go to the movies twice a year. Hobbies change if you don’t make a conscious effort to keep them going.
But the luxury of total spontaneity and big blocks of uninterrupted time does go on hold. So as you work through your list of things to do before the baby comes, squeeze every drop out of it now.
